it was a terrible blow

1 egg, <1 oz. cheddar, 0.25 c cottage cheese
small apple
2 "regular" spoonfuls of bean salad
0.75 c granola with 1%
chocolate protein shake w/ 1%
6 oz. orange juice
8 oz. kombucha
chamomile tea

DAMN I'M HUNGRY. making a big ol' dinner to have with Dan when he gets back from Tulsa @ midnight. Probably gonna have some crackers with cream cheese though....

It's gonna be: baked turkey legs marinated with yogurt and some kinda masala, grated carrot "dry" curry, veggie coconut curry, half-whole-wheat naan stuffed with parsley, garlic, onion and cottage cheese. And a well-rated but low priced Riesling! Fun!

I've been cleaning all day, too. So hungry. Baahh.

Tom Collins & Vodka Collins ~300 cals
generous 1 tsp. O.O. ~50 cals
2 eggs ~150 cals (13 g protein)
small apple ~60 cals
1/2 Tbsp. parmesan cheese ~ 15 cals
1/4 onion ~10 cals
1 clove garlic ~5 cals
2 pieces oat wasa ~120 cals (4 g protein)
chive cream cheese ~75 cals

Total: 785 cals. and not very much protein!


Update:

PLUS
A glass of milk ~150 cals (12 g protein)
One carrot, 1/2 onion, 1/2 bell pepper sauteed in 2 tsp. O.O. ~ 75 cals (2 g protein)
Sweet/sour sauce for veg (vinegar + 1 tsp. sugar, reduced) ~ 15 cals
2 frozen chicken breast pieces w/ Greek seasoning ~200 cals (40 g protein)

That's better!

1225 cals, 75-ish g protein.

breakfast!
apply to be a volunteer at planned parenthood
browse craigslist for a rental house?
vacuum
make yogurt
email senators

A motley CRUE of feral kitties lives in the parking lot of my apartment complex. A colony  guess. One in particular has sort of warmed up to us and spends a lot of time on our little recessed patio, sleeping on our chair and playing around and such. We've been feeding her twice a day. We call her Edie. She's a dark gray tabby, an older kitten. Sometimes she comes inside but not so much now as it's gotten colder (can't leave door hanging open) and we freaked her out pretty bad (shut her in twice, she DID NOT WANT). She's SO CUTE.

She also has a cute older sister (we're pretty sure) that's slightly bigger. A tabby with a white belly and feet and such and a bright pink nose. Her name is Pink-Nose. She is a lot more skittish and hangs out with us less. God they are precious. Today they were play fighting. We gave Edie some cat nip.

I wish they would come live with us inside!

first his dumb misogynist friend tried to insult me on the basis of gender, religion and developmental disability. i started some shit and called him out and he deleted his facebook. WOW. and brien deleted the post so you can no longer see my awesome response to him. :(

then brianna whined that i dared to address her on brien's public wall when i asked her why she brought up zoe and matt getting married, which was completely irrelevant to the topic (obama's nobel prize). i told her to get a life and blocked her.

WEIRDOS! THE WORLD IS WEIRLD AND FULL OF BITCHES.

between this and the fight with my mom, my drama need for the month is wholly satisfied.

1. I'm fairly certain I'm about to be hired as a barista at the little YWCA cafe in downtown KC, KS. (As in, she said she planned to hire me, I'm the top of the list, but she won't have a decision until Friday). So, fingers crossed.

While this is only a part-time position and not entirely glamorous, it is still exciting to me for a few reasons. (a) I generally like the job of a barista...it's pretty easy and you get to know people. Plus tips. (b) I will be making enough to squeeze by each month if Dan still can't find a job and plenty if he can. (c) It will be a good non-profit networking opportunity and an easy place to get into volunteering. (d) I was told that if I could find funding I could restart a program to teach women and older girls cooking skills. That would rule. (e) The hours are MWF 6:30-2:30, which leads me to my next point.

2. I have decided to take a few classes at UMKC next semester to prep for grad school (I still need research methods and stats so I can get into a social sciences program). The classes I want to take happen to be exclusively TTh, which works out perfectly. The prospect of school, doing something I KNOW HOW TO DO rather than withering joblessly, is wonderful.

3. I am retaking the GRE next month and am going to be researching grad schools as far as I know with a wobbly intent to start next fall. We shall see.

He wants me and Dan to start a company with him since we have nothing better to do. A green consulting company! Huh!

 i just watched inland empire. it was tremendous and it scared the shit out of me. i'm very interested in its portrayal of women. it's definitely fresh to me for movies, but i'm not entirely sure what the implications are. apparently david lynch regularly portrays female characters as victims of male sexual abuse. again not sure if that's "bad" or "good" but i thought it was interesting. (for example, when i first see something like that i sigh in relief because it seems like some sort of admission of wrong on the part of mankind. but then, what if! it's coming out of (a) an inability to see women in another way? or (b) feelings of guilt and over-focus and just wanting to get the burden off one's shoulders?)

for some reason i had no idea this was a scary movie? then again the only other lynch i've seen is straight story, haha.

ANYWAY I WANT EVERYONE TO GO SEE IT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

i've been watching so many movies lately. the last one before this was the 400 blows (les quatre cents coups!) and dan adored it. i am getting really into gender in film too. surprise surprise. get agitated with me, females! :) (and others, too.)

and now i am wanting to see that crazy gory movie about the woman who thinks women are evil (what's it called again?) but i'm kind of scared to....

i'm up way too late!

 sometimes i sponaneously get queasy, lightheaded and very thirsty all at once. what is that? just dehydration?

 for lunch:
- eggs en cocotte with tomatoes, basil parsley oregano and breadcrumbs (this is just baked eggs)
- sweet & sour red bell peppers (sauteed in O.O. and sauced with a sweetened vinegar reduction
- a frothy café au lait made by dan

for a snack:
- a sliced peach with dip made of whole milk yogurt, cinnamon, splenda and honey



i need something else!!!! maybe my offbrand wheat thins with swiss cheeeeese? and some water, because that coffee is still rocking me.


brainstorming dinner...i have a butternut squash, a few small tomatoes, some older cucumbers, three sweet potatoes, baby beets...

i love food

i need a job

i need to apply for jobs

i want a cookie

i had minestrone for breakfast, with a cup of throat tea

then i had a chocolate protein shake

dan got called by QT (YES QT) to interview next week

then dan and i walked to rosedale park

we wandered around for a long time, and did a little trail running

then we came back and i took a bath

then the beans we ordered for dan's dad's birthday and for ourselves arrived. they are cool heirloom dried beans from ranch gordo (http://www.ranchogordo.com/)

dan is getting the hookup for some cool internships even though he didn't get the land trust one

i am applying for a walking schoolbus internship

 and i keep secrets better than i used to!

now i'm just lording it over you :)

see you tulsa folksies soon i hope

leaving soooooon

 one half of a large Missouri peach (man whoever was growin those rocks, mmm), chopped into chunks

topped with a generous plop of organic whole milk yogurt

drizzled with a tiny bit of delicious dark honey from Bristow, OK

sprinkled with a little bit of Splenda (didn't want to use TOO much honey)

and scattered with crunchy homemade grape-nuts-type stuff

 I thought I would update since I am constantly disappointed to see that none of my friends have. Then I realized it was hypocritical. So now I am updating.

It is lonely in KC because I haven't really kept in touch with anyone I knew who still lives here. It gets claustrophobic in this tiny apartment with Dan with nothing really to do. But then I get anxious when I go out to places, but not always. 

I am getting sick of not having a job! So, now, to find one! I am applying for a position cleaning and prepping dental equipment for students at UMKC, lolz. Might as well. If I work at a uni I get heavily discounted classes. It'd be a good idea for me to take some soc. methods courses and a stats course. Too bad I didn't apply and get a job BEFORE this semester started, though, ugh.

Dan interviewed for an internship yesterday. It'd be for Kansas Land Trust in LAWRENCE which is FORTY miles away. But it's a field he's really interested in and it would only be a few days a week so we might be able to swing it if he gets another job, too. Or if I get a good enough one. We'll see. Problem is his distance and his lack of work-study eligibility, which means the already poor land trust can't use grant funding to pay him. So...

He's also up for consideration for this environmental compliancy job, which he doesn't really want to take and which he thinks would be painfully dull, but mang...it would pay dem beelz. So I'm for it, which I know isn't fair. But I bet it would be a job that would look nice on a resume and definitely wouldn't hurt his chances of getting future jobs that are more up his alley. More so than helping corps be "compliant" while retaining profit, haha. That does sound sucky.

In other news, I am getting really weary of all the healthcare bullshit that is being thrown around these days. The stupidity hurts me. And I'm really opposed to people who say things like "stupidity hurts me," and it hurts me to say that, so you know I must mean it.

Dear conservative people on my f-list, I'm sorry we probably disagree on heathcare reform but can you please at least validate my concern about people on YOUR SIDE being absolutely insane creepers?? DEATH CAMPS???!!! For fuck's sake.

And besides the U.S. is really far behind on this issue AND we have pretty crappy rates for infant mortality and other such things that you'd think would be better for THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE MUTHAFUCKIN WORLD.

SO HOW'RE U?

I made peach/kefir/yogurt/OJ smoothies and Dan is making PB+Js and we're taking them on a walk to the park for late breakfast! Whee.

MAN IT'S MESSY IN OUR APARTMENT. It's so small that stuff piles up quickly. Once I clean (and Dan does the moldering dishes) I'll try to take pics and post them so you can see our minute abode.

I've been trying to get into bread baking again since I hate bread from the store...and actually good bread from bakeries (think Ferrell Family) is too expensive and still not as good as Norwegian bread. My first attempt was a disaster but then again I took a plain whole wheat recipe and added oat flour and vital wheat gluten PLUS mixed it the wrong way without trying to do a nonexperimental version first. It didn't rise but it tastes good anyway....

OK over and out, we're walkin!

 

we're back in KC.

spent a week in Tulsa being heathens...eating, drinking, smoking that ganj. need to eat cleaner for sure.

dan suggested we go veg again. i said yes but how about pescetarian instead because i don't want no fuckin alzheimers and i like eating fruits de mer. so. we'll see. i also have no intention of refusing meat that other people give to me but this FLEXITARIAN business is what got me into this mess of eating crap in the first place!

gonna go easier on the dairy for a while, too, i'm thinkin. and sugar. jesus. AND FRIED THINGS.

going to the grocery store soon. we're making lentil tostadas for lunch, yumola.

now the internal battle over whether i'm gonna top those tostadas with cheese, sour cream, or nothing!

 

 sometimes i severely put off replying to people's emails or calls especially when there is good reason for promptness. don't know why. some sort of weird anxiety.

kwim??